The film A Want In Her, directed by artist and filmmaker Myrid Carten, opens with a striking scene on a busy street in Belfast: an empty bench where Myrid’s voice is heard on a phone call with her uncle Kevin, recounting how she saw her mother, Nuala, lost and drunk after a year of absence. This opening immediately immerses us in the dark world of a family marked by illness, addiction, and mental disorders, with Nuala’s alcoholism at the center.

Nuala, Myrid’s mother, is a complex figure who has struggled for years with alcoholism, episodes of institutionalization, and the loss of her home. The director, who has also worked as a visual artist and held an exhibition in London in 2023 about her mother, uses film to process and understand her own personal story.

The film combines different visual registers: from home videos recorded during her childhood, to aerial shots of the deteriorated family home in Donegal, Ireland, and 16mm footage showing the isolated landscapes surrounding her environment. This creates a constant tension between past and present, revealing how Myrid’s childhood was shaped amid her mother’s fragility.

A standout moment is a sequence where the director films her classmates and teacher in class, while two students act out a drunken scene. This innocent child’s play contrasts sharply with the harsh reality of addiction they experienced, showing how a child’s mind develops defense mechanisms in the face of trauma.

At the heart of the film are the face-to-face conversations between Myrid and Nuala, where they address painful topics such as the grandmother’s death, family relationships, and alcohol abuse. These long, uncut interviews delve into Nuala’s chaotic mind, revealing her mix of selfishness and brutal honesty. The mother-daughter relationship, fragmented and often tense, is shown in all its complexity, with moments of frustration, love, and guilt that make the viewer feel the same emotional weight that Myrid carries.

A Want In Her is not just a documentary about addiction but a brave artistic exercise that uses fragmented images and experimental techniques to tell a personal and universal story. The minimalist soundtrack and inclusion of contemporary Irish music contribute to creating an immersive and melancholic atmosphere. Through this work, Myrid Carten demonstrates how art can be a powerful means to confront pain and family fragility, showing that to care for others, one must first learn to care for oneself.